Forever Lost
by chels-dogg
Summary: Summary: HaldirOC (female), Movie-verse. The consequences of his fall in the heart of his love.(I know it's a lame title)CH.6 ADDED
1. Chapter 1: Loss

Disclaimer: If you thought for a second that these characters, and this universe was mine, you should go slam your head into a wall.  
  
*Author's Note: I usually prefer to remain very faithful to Tolkien's books, but this story wouldn't work unless I went into the Movie-verse and imagined that elves came to Helm's Deep. If you are completely against the movie or that particular part (which I have called an abomination in the past...) then maybe this isn't the fic for you, but honestly, you may enjoy the story. Have Fun.   
  
-Chelsea  
  
Summary: Haldir/OC (female), Movie-verse. The consequences of his fall in the heart of his love.  
  
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Chapter One: Loss  
  
Gray eyes stared blankly up at her. They had once held such depth and emotion and now they held the cold, glazed look of death. She lifted her lover's head onto her lap and stroked his blond, bloody hair. The tears slowly began spilling down her cheeks as she rocked back and forth on her heels, cradling her fallen love. She clutched him ever tighter and closer to herself, in some vain attempt to believe that he was still with her, that everything was fine. Burying her head into his neck she let the sobs rack through her body as she realized that he was not going to return her embrace, he was actually gone.  
  
Londe straightened her posture in order to look into the face of her love. She was trying to understand how he could be dead. Why was he taken from her? Why did it have to be him? How could he not be able to kiss her anymore? Why couldn't he hold her in his embrace? Why did they have to be so galant and save the men of Rohan? She didn't care about them, she didn't care about anyone all she cared about in the world was Haldir and now he was gone and she had nothing! Her grasp was destroyed and her true love struck down by some disgusting fiendish monster.  
  
She screamed these questions out in her head until her emotions tore loose and she let out a mournful wail that shook the very foundations of the world. Legolas, her dear friend, tried to soothe her and take her from the gruesome scene, but all Thalichamiel recognized was that she was being pulled away from her love and she swatted the offender away. She wanted to be left alone to lay with her lover while she mourned.  
  
"O Elbereth! Oh, oh, oh, oh, Haldir...Haldir. Why? why did this have to happen? We were so happy. Please don't be dead. Come back to me. I need you. I need you so much." Londe muttered these words over and over under her breath until they slurred into a moan of sorrow.  
  
"Londe, please, you can't stay here," Legolas tried once more to bring her inside to rest,"you need to rest. You've had a straining day, we all have. You need to sleep."  
  
"Go away...please."  
  
Legolas, recognizing his defeat, slowly turned and walked away. He was need in healing the wounded men and elves. He knew that Londe would not be alone, there were friends everywhere. She just needed some time.  
  
Londe's sobs began to diminish into whimpers and soon she lay silently next to Haldir, remembering all their time together.  
  
*Feedback is a lovely thing. What do you think? Depressing I know...it's generally going to be a depressing story. I'll love you 


	2. Chapter 2: A Meeting

Chapter Two: A Meeting  
  
The young elf-maiden strode uneasily through the tall, ancient mellyrn. They seemed to whisper secrets to her heart as she stepped around their roots. They told of times long past, and deeds long finished. These beings seemed beacons from across the tides of time, their overbearing history unsettled her already wavering spirit.  
  
The maiden's name was Londe, she was young for her kin, only 36 years old. Her countenance was fair and framed by the waves of her hair which seemed at times to glisten as the sun. She stood at a height of only 5 feet, short for the standards of men, and miniscule by elven standards. This was due to her father, a mortal man wed to an elven woman. Both her parents were good, loving people. They brought her up in a small cabin on the outskirts of Rohan. Their they lived a secluded existence, happy with eachother and their daughter. All their happiness was dashed away in one night.  
  
A band of orcs travelling north from Isengard came upon their tiny home on empty stomachs. Windows were smashed, tables overturned and furnishings destroyed. The orcs killed and feasted on her parents. The only reason Londe survived was because she had been behind the house gathering firewood when the orcs decided to break into the cabin. She heard the noises of the attack, grunts, smashing glass, and most piercing...the screams of her parents. Throughout it all Londe stood frozen from fear under the starlight behind her formerlly safe home.   
  
Morning found Londe sitting in the grass with her back to the side of the cabin. She stared directly in front of her with every muscle in her body tensed. A look of shock resided on her face and she seemed not to notice anything of her surroundings. So when the two riders of the Rohirrim inspected her, they were quite worried over her condition. It took a full half-day for Londe to begin to respond to the two former friends of her parents, Falamin and Neomer. As she awoke from her shock the two men comforted her, yet she did not show signs of grief. She only looked fragile.  
  
Londe's thoughts strayed to that night and the realization she had. Her parents were gone, she cried herself to sleep for three nights after that. On the fourth night she spoke with kinsmen of her father and they agreed that she should journey to the land of her mother, perhaps seeing her elven kin would help sooth the healing process. And so she found her self journeying close to the southern borders of Lothlorien.  
  
Fear and trepidation filled her with each step she took closer to her mother's homeland. When she had sent out with the six escourts she had felt cleansed. She was going to visit her elven home. Londe had never met any elves besides her mother, this was an exciting event for her, despite her recent loss. Now, though, her excitement gave way to panic. The six men accompanying her had taken her as far as the brink of the forest, they refused to go any farther. When she questioned their refusal they told her of the stories of a witch ruling the forest and fierce border guards that would shoot anything that moved with godly presition. With these stories floating in her head she demounted her horse, it would have to be returned to Rohan, and began the rest of the journey to the borders on foot.   
  
Londe knew she was beginning to approach the borders, she could feel the back of her neck tingle and her spine seemed to creak and cramp up. Doubt filled her heart. How did she know they would allow her to enter their Realm? What if they turned her away? What would she do? These thoughts resounded in her mind when out of nowhere a deadly sharp arrowhead appeard only inches from her face.  
  
"What is your business in the Golden Wood?" inquired a low, male voice. Londe turned her head a fraction of an inch to see that she was surrounded by elves in gray tunics and leggings with bows drawn. With that finite movement she heard the wood of the bow belonging to the questioning elf creak as he drew his arrow back further. Sweat sprung upon her brow and she quickly faced the speaker once more.  
  
"I- I- IIII...err..." Londe couldn't find herself. She didn't know the answer. Why was she here?  
  
"Answer me!" The elf demanded."Who are you?"  
  
"M-my name is Londe, I am the daughter of Nimranwen, an elven woman of these lands. I come to learn more of my kin."  
  
"And you foolishly expected to be admitted into the Wood of Lorien with the telling of a name and a story? You expected to be welcomed without question? Spies are abroad. The world falls under shadow. We can trust no one."  
  
It was happening! He would turn her away. She would have no where to go. She could not travel back to Rohan on foot with no provisions. What was going to happen to her? As these thoughts raced through her head she let out a subconsious squeak that she didn't seem to even notice. She lifted her face almost straight up to peer into the storm gray eyes of the elf before her. For the first time she realized what an intimidating presense he had. He stood at least two feet higher than her, as did all the elves surrounding her. It must be easy to tell that my blood is not purely elven she thought.  
  
"You must be taken before the Lord and Lady, they will determine your fate." Almost before Londe could register his words she was being taken further into the wood. 


	3. Chapter 3: A Prisoner and a Decision

*Author's Note: Lady Undomiel- Thank you for your kind words, I hope that I can live up to your expectations in my writing.   
  
As any author, I love reviews and more would be awesome. And if you feel the need to flame, try to be gentle.   
  
And now, on with the show...  
  
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Chapter 3: A Prisoner and a Decision  
  
Londe felt as though she had walked the length of the fields of Rohan twice over by the time they had begun to reach the city of Caras Galadhon. Haldir, whose name she had discerned from what little speech there was between him and the two elves that accompanied them to the city, walked beside her holding her upper arm in a bruising grip. The rest of the party stayed at the borders while Haldir brought Londe to be judged by the Lady Galadriel and the Lord Celeborn. As they stepped closer and closer to the city Haldir's vice-like grip became more apparant to her, the tense and ready behavior of the two other elves was evident to her as well. She soon realized that she was a prisoner and this brought a worse state of panic to her than during her journey to the borders.   
  
Londe's breathing became eratic and caught in her throat. Her knees began to weaken, and she fell to the ground as they gave out from under her. Haldir slackened his hold on her arm for a moment. As he bent to retrieve her from the forest floor he hesitated, looking upon her with a changed expression in his eyes. The two elves, who had been travelling some paces ahead, paused to observe this exchange. Giving the girl a moment to catch her breathe he pushed away the unwanted emotion and his face became passive and unreadable once more. He helped Londe up and continuted the journey to the Lord and Lady.  
  
The air of Lorien seemed to laugh at Londe as she regained part of her composure and carried on with her attempts at keeping up with Haldir's pace. It's not fair...his legs are longer, She thought with what little humor she could muster. She was truly embarrassed by her clumsy behavior and began to chide herself. This was the land of her elven kin and here she had gone and made a fool out of herself for a first impression.  
  
The sun's influence on her surroundings wanned and the stars crept up the sky as they entered into Caras Galadhon. The first thing Londe noticed about the city was that it seemed to be nothing but forest, until one looked up and saw the splender of the ornate talans, and heard the voices, singing and laughter of the people within.  
  
The two elves, whose names Londe had not learned, bid their farewells to Haldir and left them to ascend the stairway to the great talan of Galadriel and Celeborn. Londe could not find room in her heart for worry or fear, even knowing she was so close to the deciders of her fate. Looking around her, all she could feel was wonder, amazement, and sense of familiarity, as if she had come home. The talans of trees in her vicinity seemed to reflect the starlight in every crevice and line of architecture. The leaves on the trees seemed to shimmer with liquid serenity and the air itself held a silver hue that was intoxicating. Immidiately she could not understand why anyone would fear this land. She fell in love with it even as she climbed to her fearful meeting.  
  
The shadow of a smile that had appeard on Londe's face soon faded as she stepped onto the platform of the Lady's court and looked about in naked awe. Flowers were etched into the floor that seemed to consist of no material of that world. An air of importance and diplomacy was mixed with an air of love and kinship. Haldir led her to the bottom of a set of stairs and that was when she noticed the two beautiful beings descending them. They stood equal in height and importance, their love for eachother clearly visible as they came toward her hand-in-hand. They emitted an ethereal silver glow as elves have a tendency of doing on warm nights when the stars shine bright in the sky. Galadriel's features were strong and yet softened in a womanly way. She stood with the importance of a man, and the beauty of a woman. The Lord Celeborn, standing beside, her held no more or less importance than his love. His features were strong and fair as are the features of all elves. The two rulers looked down upon Londe with unreadable expressions in their eyes.  
  
"Haldir, trusted guardien of our Wood, what news have you?" Celeborn asked in a calm monotone.  
  
"This young she-elf, claims to be of kin to an elf woman of Lorien. She was caught within the borders of the Wood and apprehended to be brought before you and the fair Lady Galadriel for her intentions to be judged.  
  
"In such times as these there are few who we can trust,"Celeborn repeated Haldir's words as he turned to face Londe. He gazed into her eyes for what seemed like an infinity before speaking once more,"We find your intentions to be true, and though we do not adore your timing, we wish to hear more of your Lorien relative and your purposes for travelling to our Realm."  
  
It was clear to Londe now, that Celeborn had been conversing with Galadriel while he had looked upon her. Galadriel had not uttered a word so far, she merely fixed Londe with an intent gaze.  
  
A chair was brought for Londe by a tall female elf with long flaxen hair and a mischievous face. Londe sat and began to speak,"My mother's name was Nimranwen. She was a beautiful being..."  
  
Londe went on to describe her mother and her union with Londe's father, Borim. She told of their happy life together and of how it was all stripped away on the night of the orc attack.   
  
All the while Haldir had stood silently to the side, he spoke to the Lord Celeborn when she had finished her tale,"Those orcs were the reason our guard was heavy on the southern borders."  
  
Celeborn acknowledged Haldir's comment with a contemplative nod. At length he spoke to Londe,"I did not know your mother personally, but she sounds like a beautiful spirit and her loss must be heavy upon your soul. I understand your desire to learn more of the Galadhrim. You have grown up in the world of men, and now you seek the other half of your destiny. You may stay in Lorien. We wish for you to find solace and we mourn for your loss. That one so young should have to suffer such a tragedy is one of worse fates in this world."  
  
Galadriel finally spoke,"Haldir, the coming week is your mandatory holiday is it not?"  
  
Haldir's eyes held something that was almost annoyance at the mention of this new rule. The Lord and Lady had decided he worked himself too hard, so every six months he was required to take a one week rest period."Yes, my Lady it is."  
  
"It would be good for you to have some social contact with someone other than your brothers, Haldir." Galadriel's eyes did not hide her amusement,"You shall be Londe's companion as she begins to adjust."  
  
Haldir was less than thrilled with Galadriel's suggestion. However he knew it would be folly to spurn her. He could feel that she was keeping something from him. Some of her foresight perhaps. Haldir bowed in agreement rather than have his voice betray his dissappointment.  
  
"There is an unoccupied talan close to yours is their not?" Galadriel inquired.  
  
Haldir nodded.  
  
"Would you show Londe to it and see that she is settled in for the night?"  
  
"Of course my Lady."  
  
With that Haldir and Londe were dismissed and they exited the court. 


	4. Chapter 4: A Walk

Chapter 4: A walk  
  
Haldir and Londe descended the steps to the base of the tree. In the open once more Londe breathed in the atmostphere of Lorien. She felt as though she had stepped into the clearest pool in Middle-Earth and was instantly cleansed of all her troubles. But as she approached the surface problems at hand began to return. She realized that she was in the middle of a deafening silence between herself and the marchwarden. Stealing a glance at his face, she saw that his expression was passive and emotionless; Londe began to realize that this seeming apathy was a constant part of his personality and demeanor. She wondered at the reasons for such a trait.  
  
Not being accustom to uneasiness between herself and a companion, Londe attempted conversation,"Your city is fair, marchwarden. It fills one with dreams just to look upon it. I cannot imagine the life of someone gifted with these images each day."  
  
"No you cannot." Haldir replied rather shortly. He did not try to hide his disdain from her at the thought of spending an entire holiday, which was unnecessary in the first place, with some wench he barely knew. It was unusual for him to show a guest of the Lord and Lady any deviation from perfect diplomacy, but the sudden arrival of this she-elf and the assumption on her part that in such times of darkness the guardians of Lothlorien would just allow her to permeate their borders was something that clung to the front of his thoughts, irritating him to no end. And yet she stood in the heart of Lorien.   
  
The simple meanness dripping from Haldir's short reply cut through Londe like the sword of the finest warrior in Middle-Earth. She didn't know the elven-warrior, but Londe had been brought up in a sheltered environment, she was not used to negativity being directed toward her and his blatant dislike of her discouraged her spirit. She did not speak for the rest of the walk.  
  
Presently they arrived at the site of Haldir's talan. They climbed the spiraling steps up to the platform. He indicated the entrance of his abode and told her that if she needed him for any reason he could be found there. They proceeded upwards towards the talan where Londe would be staying only to be met with an exhausting surprise.  
  
Haldir's face fell into a frown when he stepped inside the platform and found someone there, one of his own wardens, Gildoreion. The warden looked up to see the intruder and stiffened when he saw his superior.  
  
"Sir, am I needed at the borders?"  
  
Haldir was silent for a moment collecting his throughts, he recalled the mischievous glint in the Lady Galadriel's eyes, and thought he realized what her intention was,"No, Gildoreion, you are not needed. We have a guest of the Wood,"he motioned to Londe,"and I was told that this talan was still vacant. I see now there must have been some error."  
  
Leaving the platform with Londe trailing confusedly after him he fully realized that the Lady had intended to throw the two together. And, knowing that he should not defy the Lady of Light, Haldir concluded that Londe would have to reside in his talan temporarily until further arrangements could be made. He made his way back down to his place and invited talan inside.  
  
"Come in, Londe."  
  
Londe entered the sparsly furnished area and stood awkwardly glancing about. She was confused as to what was happening and Haldir did not seem sparing in information.  
  
  
  
"Am I to reside here during my stay, then?" She asked after gathering some of her wits.  
  
"This,"Haldir replied, very put out,"is a temporary arrangment until we can make further plans to find you your own quarters. I have an extra down mattress that you may use to retire on."  
  
His words were short and she was quickly becoming accustomed to his haughty behavior.  
  
"I have had a long day,"Haldir went on."And you, have had some trying times over the last week. The only sane thing to do, would be to rest."  
  
Haldir showed her to a small room with a comfortable bed and a wash basin, before retiring to his own room. 


	5. Chapter 5: Nightmares in Lorien

Author's Note: This chapter is going to be short, but sweet. More to come soon. -Chels-dogg  
  
Chapter Five: Nightmares in Lorien  
  
Haldir slept with his eyes open, as is the way of the eldar. They were glazed with the faraway look of slumber when a scream pierced through his consciousness and tore him from sleep. Bolting upright the elf could not recall what had woken him until he heard the scream again. Instantly he sprang from his bed, grabbing his dagger from the chest standing beside it, and flew to Londe's room. Throwing open the door Haldir looked about and, seeing no intruder, he let his eyes fall upon Londe's thrashing figure. She was in the throws of a violent night terror.  
  
Haldir dropped his dagger and rushed to her bedside, shaking her lightly to rid her of whatever haunted her sleep. Londe's eyes flew open and they were immidiately rimmed with tears. Sitting up in her bed she hunched over in sobs. Haldir looked at her with a torn expression, he was unsure of what to do. Slowly he reached out his hand and set it on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He saw Londe flinch at the touch and then, without warning, she turned to him and collapsed against his chest. She clutched his shirt and continued to let her tears fall.   
  
Haldir was shocked by her sudden closeness and felt that her sorrow was some kind of intimacy he should not be permitted to see. Slowly Haldir recovered and he wrapped his arms around the tiny elf clutching him. Running a hand over her hair Haldir spoke in soft, low words.  
  
"There is nothing to fear anymore, elenelle. It was only a bad dream, it's over now." Haldir hoped that his words were soothing, though he didn't know why he felt so strongly about making Londe feel better.  
  
She continued to sob into his chest for sometime until her moans became only small whimpers and soon her crying stopped altogether. At length Haldir looked down at the she-elf and saw that she had fallen asleep. He began to remove himself from her hold and lay her back into her blankets. As he pulled away her face furrowed into a frown and she clutched his waist tightly, not willing to part from him, even in sleep. Haldir paused, frowning. This is going to harder than I thought, Haldir thought with an inner sigh. After trying several times to leave her with the same results and at times even causing tears to form at the corners of her eyes, Haldir gave up and layed down beside her. Within seconds he had drifted off into his own dreams.  
  
*elenelle = little star 


	6. Chapter 6: Surprised Awakenings

Chapter Six: Surprised Awakenings  
  
Beams of the sun's golden light permeated the darkness of Londe's room as Arien began her journey across the day-time sky. After the room was filled with the brilliant light Londe's eyelids fluttered and her slumbering eyes came to life. They were met with an unexpected image. The cloth of a shirt, stretched over the chest of one sharing her bed. Looking up quickly and yet with careful intention not to disturb the other sleeper, Londe gazed into the face of Haldir. As if things were not strange enough Londe suddenly became acutely aware of the arms enfolding her body against his.  
  
What is going on..., Londe asked herself confounded by her current situation.  
  
As if sensing Londe's thoughts Haldir began to stir from sleep. For some irrational reason Londe felt a twinge of fear. He had not made the most friendly impression on her the day before. Haldir seemed to go through the same period of confusion as Londe had gone through moments before, only he came to a realization. Looking down he saw the small elf nestled close to his chest stare up at him with apprehensive eyes. To Londe, Haldir's eyes seemed to hold some emotion that she could not recognize.  
  
After a long silence Haldir seemed to muster the words needed to voice his thoughts,"Do you remember, Londe, anything of last evening?"  
  
Londe shook her head slowly in confusion.  
  
"I was awoken by the sound of your screams last night. I rushed into your room, fearing some evil had permeated its walls, but when I arrived I saw that you were in the midst of a nightmare. You thrashed and screamed as if some evil apparation were appearing to you." Haldir paused to study Londe's face as she reacted, she seemed to have a sudden dawning, as if this had happened before."I shook you from sleep and you began to weep and...and cling to me. After a length of time I attempted to return to my own quarters, but your slumbering mind refused to part from my presense, and so I lingered here with you."  
  
Londe rolled his words around in her mind, attempting to find some reason for his compassion. In the end she realized that she must have been a burden on his rest and endeavered into apologizing,"I'm sorry, my lord, for my silly actions. I fear I have disturbed your rest and for that I apologize. I thank you, though, for coming to my aid."  
  
For a long moment Haldir observed Londe's eyes, thinking that in some way he could find his own answers through her.  
  
"There is no need to apologize, Londe. As all of our kindred, I am aware of the mental burden of night terrors. Tell me, though, if it is not wrong of me to ask, do you recall what plagued your nighttime thoughts?"  
  
Londe did remember, she remembered vividly, she just did not know if she could bear to describe her memory,"My dreams, of late...since my parents' passing, have been filled with terrible images. My mind mourns and envisions their death through my dreams. Often, I am disturbed by sickening pictures of my beloved parents. I never saw what happened to them...but I...imagine it. Last night, though...last night it was different. I saw only blackness, but I could hear my parents' desperate screams, their cries of agony. I could hear the orcs as well, they spoke no intelligeble words, they only growled and grunted. I stood their, frozen behind my home, listening to my parents being murdered...and I did nothing. I could have saved them..." Londe broke off into silence.  
  
"Do not speak like that,"Haldir said immidiately,"such thoughts will only lead to dispair. You must understand that everything happens at the will of the Valar. It may seem unfair now, that you've had to lose your parents, but ultimately there is some brighter end that will come of it. Do not let your grief overcome you. Be strong, you are strong you do know that, don't you?"  
  
"A half-elf, yes I'm as strong as any of the strongest,"spoke Londe sardonically.  
  
Haldir had little love for the race of men, but this small elf inspired him,"You believe yourself to be weak because of your heritage? Nay, you are stronger than most. You come of two powerful races. Elves, the First Race, powerful and immortal, filled with magic and love. Men, strong-willed and passionate, they govern Middle-Earth, even while not all of the eldar have passed onto the Straight Road. And you, Londe, you are a mix of both, you have the ipower/i to choose your fate. Whether it lies with the elves, or with the race of men."  
  
Londe looked up into Haldir's eyes, moved by his words,"And how shall I know where my fate lies?"  
  
Haldir sensed a suggestion in her tone that alarmed him somewhat,"The Valar will guide you on your way, Londe. You have suffered a worse grievance than most beings face in a lifetime, but do not let it crush your spirit. I can sense your soul, Londe, I believe you have a future before you that will be remembered long after you have left this world."  
  
"Your speech is fair, Haldir. Thank you for giving my your counsel." Londe spoke these words slowly and clearly.  
  
After silence had fallen about them once more, Haldir glanced down and realized that he still clutched Londe in a protective embrace.  
  
***My last two chapters have been fairly scanty, I know, the next one will be nice and meaty for ya. Please review!! 


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